I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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