Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...