Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Can i not drive my cunt home
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
that's an acceptable place to lick
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
