i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
