It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
