You did not just play the dead husband card again.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize