Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize