Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I will be naked everywhere
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
It's rum buckets o'clock
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
