at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
