oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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