I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
