You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
