maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
