If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
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