Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
