i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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