I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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