I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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