You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
