Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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