No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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