so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
