apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
