All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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