I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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