You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
