I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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