I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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