Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
