I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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