but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
