i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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