I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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