Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
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