I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
