Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
