i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
