dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
