if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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