I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
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this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
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We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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