I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize