I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
