im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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