Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You can't just leave with hair like that
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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