Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
my shit smells like andre
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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