Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
