So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
