like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
high people should be assigned attendants
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
my liver is dry heaving
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
