whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize