Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
How external is "for external use only"?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
