His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He did a backflip because drugs
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