i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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