you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize