i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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