Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
