You can't motorboat a personality
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
